Emotional intelligence is the capability of individuals to recognize their own emotions and those of others, to be able to discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior and adjust emotions to adapt to environments. It’s the ability to be aware of, control and express one’s emotions and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously (with good judgment or sense) and empathetically (understand and share the feelings of another). Developing emotional intelligence helps us communicate better, reduces anxiety and stress, defuses conflicts, improves relationships, empathize with others and effectively overcome life’s challenges. It actually influences our behavior and relationships thereby affecting the quality of our lives. We can learn to be emotionally intelligent by:
- Observing how you feel;
It is essential to understand the power of your emotions. They’re powerful energies that organize and shape your beliefs, thoughts and behaviors. Imagine a few triggering situations you’ve experience, select the least challenging one to work on first; Take deep breaths (allow yourself to relax) while feeling relaxed bring the selected situation to mind then pause and feel each emotion and note what physical sensation you feel. Lastly remind yourself that you’re not your emotions, you have the ability to decide to act according to them or move passed them.
- Paying attention to how you behave;
Your attention determines the experiences you have and the experiences you have determine the life you live. Attention management is the practice of controlling distractions, being present in the moment, finding flow and maximizing focus. Observe how you act when experience certain emotions and how it affects your life. Once you become conscious of how you react to your emotions, it becomes so much easier to manage them. You begin to know how to choose where and when to direct your attention at any given moment.
- Questioning your own opinions;
Opinion bubble is when your own opinions are constantly re-enforced by people with similar viewpoints. Stop to question your thoughts before you act because people often react based on an impulse (a sudden force or desire) instead of taking a second to really think about their action beforehand.
- Taking responsibility for your feelings;
Not so many people realize that the person responsible for their feelings is in fact themselves, no matter the circumstances. When you understand that different people react differently to the same stimulus, you start accepting responsibility for how you feel and how you behave and this will in turn have a positive impact on all areas of your life.
- Taking time to celebrate the positive but don’t ignore the negative;
People who experience and celebrate positive emotions are generally more resilient and more likely to have fulfilling relationships which will help them move past adversity but also understanding your negative feelings is key to becoming a fully-rounded individual who is more able to deal with any issue in the future.
- Understanding what motivates you;
Everyone has a core motivation when they begin a project but often times we fail complete these projects because we lose our motivation along the way. You’re more likely to make a big positive impact if you align around your true motivation and tune them in a positive way. Take time to understand what motivates you and use it to push you across the finish line.
- Acknowledge your emotional triggers;
An emotional trigger is anything including memories, experiences or events that spark an intense emotional reaction, regardless of your current mood. Being self-aware is being able to recognize your emotions as they occur, accept them, be flexible with them and process them before communicating them. To do this you have to:
- Listen to your mind and body;
- Stop to consider what happened;
- Trace the roots;
- Approach these emotions with curiosity to get better insight on what triggered them then;
- Knowing how to manage them the moment they occur.
- Trusting your intuition;
If the path to take is still a mystery to you, just trust your intuition. All you have to do is:
- Relax, calm down and get still for you to be able to hear your own voice; even in the midst of stress or chaotic situations.
- Pay attention to what’s going on around and within you (meditate).
- Thinking about something for too long without making a move is really a no no, you have to “try it on for size to see if it fits”.
- Trust that your inner wisdom knows more than you think, follow it without ifs or buts.
P.S intuition doesn’t mean that sudden burst of rage you feel when you get mad.
In developing emotional intelligence it’s important to learn to avoid drama, complaining, and negativity, dwelling on the past, selfishness, giving into peer pressure and being overly critical. While on this journey, keep it in mind that it won’t just happen overnight, it’ll take time but consistent practice makes perfect.
What The Bible Says About Emotional Intelligence:
“Proverbs 29:11 [AMP] – A [self-confident] fool utters all his anger, but a wise man holds it back and stills it.”
“Proverbs 12:18 [AMP] – There are those who speak rashly, like the piercing of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
“Proverbs 20:3 [AMP] – It is an honor for a man to cease from strife and keep aloof from it, but every fool will quarrel.”
“Proverbs 17:9 [AMP] – He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends.”
“Proverbs 16:32 [AMP] – He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, he who rules his [own] spirit than he who takes a city.”
Visit the “Book” page for further study on the topic…