We all have our individual definitions of Love, different beliefs of how love is supposed to be or how it should look like, how we want our relationships and marriages to be but one very vital aspect that contributes immensely to the success of any relationship is the understanding of our individual love language. Our “love language” describes how we receive love from others; how we know for sure that “this person or these people really love us”. These languages are categorized into five (5):
- Words of Affirmation;
Affirmations are statements or signs that something is true. Words of affirmation are any spoken or written words that confirm, support and uplift another person in a positive manner. One way to express love emotionally is to use words that build up their feelings. Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love. They are best expressed in simple, straightforward statements of affirmation such as;
- Encouraging Words – Words that inspire courage. Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your partner’s perspective. We must first learn what is important to our partner.
- Kind Words – Words that are helpful to others. Love is kind. If then we are to communicate love verbally, we must use kind words.
- Humble Words – Words that are not proud or haughty, not arrogant or assertive, they are reflecting and expressing.
- Acts of Service;
People with this love language feel your adoration by the things you do. Actions that go above and beyond help them feel your love towards them, doing things you know your partner would like you to do. They require thought, planning, time, effort, and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love.
- Receiving Gifts;
You must be thinking of someone to give him/her a gift. The gift itself is a symbol of that thought. It doesn’t matter whether it costs money. What is important is that you thought of that person. And it is not the thought implanted only in the mind that counts, but the thought expressed in actually securing the gift and giving it as the expression of love.
- Quality Time;
By “quality time” I mean giving someone your undivided attention in such a way as to strengthen the relationship. Sitting on the couch with the TV off, looking at each other and talking, giving each other your undivided attention. When you give your partner attention, he/she will most certainly do the same. A central aspect of quality time is togetherness. Togetherness has to do with focused attention.
- Physical Touch;
We have long known that physical touch is a way of communicating emotional love. Physical touch is also a powerful vehicle for communicating love itself. Holding hands, kissing, embracing are all ways of communicating emotional love to one’s partner. For some individuals, physical touch is their primary love language. Without it, they feel unloved. With it, their emotional tank is filled, and they feel secure in the love of their partner.
Love is true affection for God and man [1 Cor 13:13”amp”] so knowing and acting according to your partner’s love language is a great way of communicating your affection to him/her. Discuss your respective love languages and use this information to improve your relationship!
What The Bible Says About Love:
“Ephesians 4:2 [AMP] – [Living as becomes you] with complete lowliness of mind [humility] and meekness [unselfishness, gentleness, mildness], with patience, bearing with one another and making allowances because you love one another.”
“1 Peter 4:8 [AMP] – Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins [forgives and disregards the offenses of others].”
“1 John 4:8 [AMP] – He who does not love has not become acquainted with God [does not and never did know Him], for God is love.”
“Roman 12:9 [AMP] – [Let your] love be sincere [a real thing]; hate what is evil [loathe all ungodliness, turn in horror from wickedness], but hold fast to that which is good.”
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