19 October 2021

OVERCOMING LONELINESS

Being alone and feeling alone are absolutely two different situations; Being alone is having no one else physically present while feeling alone is the state (a consciousness) of being alone and feeling sad about it. Loneliness can lead to someone sitting at home listening to depressing songs which only makes matters worse; You can actually be alone and enjoy every minute of it because you don’t feel sad or anxious about it. Loneliness can be a very depressing state of mind and the great irony is that even as you become increasingly “connected” on social media, you simultaneously feel increasingly lonely but that state could also inspire you to go out and meet people, all you have to do is:

  • Practice Self-Kindness: Self-care is extending compassion to one’s self in instances or situations of perceived inadequacy, failure or general suffering; In other words it’s encouraging and picking yourself up when you feel low. Apart from speaking encouraging words to your subconscious, you can also practice:
  • Stretching (Yoga stretches and meditation).
  • Don’t forget to play (find ways to have fun and make yourself happy always)
  • Don’t be a harsh self-critic.
  • Volunteer or help others.
  • Give yourself permission to say no to doing things that make you unhappy.
  • Act on what you need and not what you want i.e. focus on things that enable you stay strong and centered on moving forward in your life.
  • Practice forgiveness.
  • Stop hating your body.
  • Exercise more often (if you weren’t being consistent with exercising, try to change that).
  • Disconnect from communicating on the internet for a while and be with what’s happening right in front of you.
  • Listen to your body.
  • Accept compliments.
  • Stop complaining.
  • Get emotionally honest; explore your emotions and meet it with warmth and acceptance.
  • If you have something heavy on your mind, say it and move on.
  • Practice gratitude.
  • Have quality “You” time (time to do whatever you want).
  • Stop trying to control things all the time.
  • Express yourself.
  • Dress good and comfortable.
  • Minimize time spent with difficult people.
  • Apologize when you’re wrong.
  • Learn from every experience, negative or positive.
  • Capitalize on the present moment: Capitalizing on something is to use a situation or something good that you have, in order to get an advantage for yourself (to get as much advantage out of an event or situation as you can). When you feel good about something, share it with others right away; it doesn’t have to be on social media, it could be via texting or calling a friend. They don’t have to be big news, just something that makes you feel good.
  • Connect in real life: Humans are hardwired to seek each other out and profoundly shaped by our relationships and alliances. Our ability to relate to one another and communicate our thoughts and ideas is what sets us apart and makes us uniquely human but it’s not always easy to make those connections. You can build a connection with the people you meet by;
  • Pay attention to what someone is saying and to the details they give. You can learn a lot about a person just by really listening to them and noticing both their verbal and nonverbal communication.
  • Be courageous because connecting means extending friendship, being real and letting people into your life. All of these take bravery, jumping in and walking through the door of friendship with others.
  • Ask people about themselves. What are their hobbies or pastimes? Try to think of something funny or memorable to associate with them.
  • Make effort to learn how your friends like to communicate.
  • Find ways to make yourself invaluable and people will appreciate you. Being of service to others, even in small ways, is a great way to connect.
  • Rethink how you spend your spare time: Opting out to overcoming loneliness by seeking out social support, we create more social moments with the people in our lives that matter to us, which usually reduce our loneliness. So instead  of lying on the couch, thinking of how miserable your life is or how people around you’re too busy to give you attention; you can:
  • Read a book.
  • Think about your goals; personal and professional and write down a list of action steps you can take to make them a reality.
  • Exercise.
  • Do a bit of home organization.
  • Take a walk.
  • Learn a new hobby.
  • Meditate (Just breathe and think positively).
  • Get crafty; pick up a paintbrush, pencil, cookbook, sewing needle or crochet hook (Knitting pin) and spend some time doing something you enjoy.
  • Plan a casual date with an old friend.
  • Research; learn more about something that interests you.
  • Take an online course.
  • Start a personal challenge.
  • Stop that negative thought cycle: We might repeatedly think about what we could have done differently to prevent ourselves from feeling so alone; but we must always remember that having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can’t be done. It’s better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right; negative thoughts can drag you down, prevent you from seeing the good or positive side of things and make you feel sorry for yourself which will definitely hinder you from taking any action. So in order to stop this negative thought cycle just:
  • Begin to find what’s good in every situation.
  • Practice coping with criticism.
  • Stop focusing on what people think or say about the things you do.
  • Practice viewing your thoughts as an outside observer (take your time to ask yourself if you should take the thought seriously).
  • Don’t be on the lookout for these thoughts because it shows that you’re still 100% focused on them.
  • Replace the negativity in your surrounding; sometimes the things you see on a daily basis might contributes to a certain thought pattern so if you notice anything in you immediate surrounding that fuels negative thoughts, get rid of it.
  • Use a thought diary; most times when we write down our thoughts and get to read them out loud, we can determine whether it’s something to keep or throw out the window.
  • Doing something fun and exciting once the thoughts sets in; hobbies are a great way to stop negative thought patterns.
  • Spend money on experiences: Spending money on good experiences with others is a great way to improve mental health. Experiences are priceless while material things always have an expiring date, they help define your purpose and passions, they introduce you to different worldly perspectives, teach you life lessons and help you express gratitude for existence. These experiences could be:
  • Traveling to new places.
  • Attending musical concerts, conferences and conventions.
  • Doing something crazy on you bucket list.
  • Weekend trips with friends.

What The Bible Says About Feeling Lonely:

Isaiah 41:10 [AMP] –Fear not {there is nothing to fear}, for I am with you, do not look around you in terror or sadness and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My {victorious} right hand of rightness and justice.”

Philippians 4:6 [AMP] – Don not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition {definite requests}, with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.”

Psalm 62:8 [AMP] – Trust in, lean on, rely on, and have confidence in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts before him, God is a refuge for us {a fortress and a high tower}.

1 Timothy 4:16-17 [AMP] – At my first trial no one acted as my defense {as my advocate} or took my path or {even} stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them. But the lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the {Gospel} message might be fully proclaimed and all the gentiles might hear it. So I was delivered out of the jaws of the lion.”

Visit the “Books” page for further study on the topic…

Prof!

This Blog was created to help contain and subdue the ongoing increase in depression and suicidal thought pattern happening mostly among youths in our world today. A lot of us are quick to compare our lives with that of those around us thereby ignoring and undermining our own uniqueness. We want to let you know that no matter how different or weird you think you are, you are special both on the inside and on the outside.

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